Kaiser’s Top 5/Bottom 5: Summer Films

Top 5 Summer Blockbusters

I’m approaching this list on which summer blockbusters impacted me most, so it will be no surprise that most on this list are from my more formative years. Narrowing this down to just 5 is pretty hard….
I have watched this movie more times than I can remember. This film spawned friendships at school where we’d run around the schoolyard quoting the movie from beginning to end. Aside from some bad Terror Dog effects, the movie holds up amazingly well after all these years.
The second I left the theater I was walking and talking like Robocop. I likely annoyed many people by responding with “I’d buy that for a dollar” to anything I thought relevant. I’d never seen a movie like this before. Robots, Cyborgs, gruesome gun fights, over the top parody and a man melting from toxic waste exploding when hit by a car… man, this movie had it all!
This may be my earliest memory of a movie making me cry in the theater.  I had E.T. bed sheets, note books, coloring books, read along books, TV Trays, you name it. I drew E.T. all over everything. To this day, I may have an unhealthy fondness for Reese’s Pieces.
Batman (‘89)
Batman ’89 may have changed my whole perception of reality. The lead up, release and aftermath of this flick was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I remember pulling up to the Mann’s Chinese Theater in Herbie (yes, I grew up riding around in an actual movie used Herbie) and seeing the line wrap around the block. They had a spotlight with a bat signal on it and were shining it around on the curtain… then the movie started, and the obsession began.
To this day, the most reoccurring character in my dreams are Ridley Scott’s/H.R. Geiger’s/James Cameron’s Aliens. Those damn creatures rooted deep into my young subconscious and haunt me still… and I love it.

Bottom 5 Summer Blockbusters

These are movies that I actually went to the theater and experienced first hand…  I wasted my money on these already so I’m not going to bother wasting too many words. I am not a harsh critic and often find ways to enjoy most things. But these… these films hurt my soul.
The Universal Studio Waterworld Stunt Show was WAY more entertaining and engaging than the tripe it was based on.
Batman & Robin
Went to the restroom mid movie and only went back in because I’d brought a cousin to see it. Killed time chatting with the concession stand workers.
Son of the Mask
Ok, not technically a summer blockbuster, but it was a sequel to a summer blockbuster that I LOVED and this movie hurt my brain, so I’m sticking it on this list.
Last Action Hero
This was more of a major let down than soul crushing experience. It was the first time I had walked out of an Arnold action blockbuster and was just ‘Meh’. And “meh’ from an Arnold flick at that time was unacceptable to me.